an excerpt from the weight of glory by c.s. lewis.

Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset

“If you asked twenty good men today what they thought was the highest of the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness.
But if you had asked almost any of the great Christians of old, he would have replied, Love.
You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance.
The negative idea of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the most important point.
I do not think this is the Christian virtue of Love.
The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself.”

– C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory


i say it all without a word.


Sometimes words aren’t needed
to say exactly what you mean
And sometimes there aren’t words to describe what you’ve thought, experienced, or seen.

Memories, you see, can’t be
all that they are when written down
They can’t be described with written word; with movement or with sound.

This is what you are to me:
a beautiful memory locked in my head
Constantly running rampant in my mind
the looks you’ve given; the words you’ve said.

And I know to send you glances
may seem like something small,
but sometimes the most love can be said
without any words at all.


My thoughts, you could say
are as tangled as my hair
Tossed about by the wind
pushed and led by the air.

I can only describe my thoughts
with words that don’t exist
In my hands I hold them
clench them tightly with my fist.

I open my hands to find
only my skin; of words are bare
They must’ve escaped by my own folly
if they’ve gone I know not where.

Must get a grasp
my thoughts all a rush
If they’re as tangled as my hair
then I need a brush.


Before I knew you
places were just places
songs were just songs
words were just words.

Now I can’t just go somewhere
without seeing parts of you
or hear certain words
that you’ve said to me.

It’s like you’re everywhere
I could travel halfway across the country
and listen to a song
And completely break down

because in it
I hear you.





Processed with VSCO

You’d be the first I’d tell
If I found out I could fly
Because if I could fly, I’d want to take home with me, & that is you
That’s why.

I’m not good with words when I’m with you
Here’s an example, but I’ll try:
I just know we’d never return
If I found out I could fly.


the tolerance post.

So, with Target making the decision to allow people who are identifying themselves as transgender to use whatever bathroom they choose, there has been quite the explosion of blog posts, Facebook comments, tweets, & Instagram photos.
Whether you’re with Target in their huge step towards “tolerance” or you aren’t, I think everyone is very confused with what tolerance actually is.

What is tolerance?

Everyone uses this word, yet I feel that as widely used as it is, everyone interprets it differently. People so desire tolerance, but they don’t even know what it really is that they want.

I’ll tell you what tolerance isn’t.
Tolerance isn’t “I have a right to state my beliefs, & if you go against them by stating yours, well, you’re intolerant!”
Tolerance also isn’t “You need to love me and & accept the way I live, all the while not being able to state your beliefs because that offends me.”

Silencing & suppressing someone else’s voice to raise yours is not tolerance.

Jesus was not tolerant in the way our world defines tolerance. In Matthew 21:12-13, when the money changers were taking advantage of the people worshipping at the temple, Jesus cast them out.
If the money changers would’ve said, “You’re offending the way we express ourselves, & we have a right to live how we want! Don’t be so intolerant!” I’m fairly certain Jesus would’ve had the same response He did in verse 13: “He said to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer,’ but you make it a den of robbers.”
These men were turning His Father’s house for a profit, & Jesus was having none of it.
This is why identifying yourself as a Christian is so controversial – Jesus’ name is not meant to be said or taken lightly. His name & those associated with Him causes a stir, because that’s what He came into this world to do.
Jesus says in Matthew 10:35 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, & a daughter against her mother, & a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.”
Jesus’ name tears families apart. It causes a controversy. This doesn’t fit into our culture’s definition of tolerant.

Now that I’ve gone through what tolerance isn’t, what is it?

Tolerance is unconditional love towards another person whose sin issue is different than yours.
It’s not criticizing what someone else believes while yelling over them trying to state what you believe.

We’re all sinners. That’s why many people define tolerance so wrongly. We try to cover up our sin with a justification disguised as a definition.
Tolerance: the new way to justify your sin & stop people from confronting you with it because “it’s just who you are” and “you were born this way”.
Yeah, you’re right. We were all born this way, as sinners. It’s just who we are. But that doesn’t give us the exuse to wallow in our depravity because, well, it’s just who we are. In Romans chapter 6, Paul brings up this subject. “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound?” But Paul doesn’t just leave us hanging. His answer to this question is: “By no means!”
We have a Savior who died to save us from that sin two thousand years ago, and why should we attempt to vindicate our sin when it’s already been paid for?

True tolerance is unconditional love. So, while Jesus wasn’t what this generation would define as tolerant, it isn’t that Christ wasn’t tolerant – it’s that our modern world has the definition wrong!

So, let’s show one another unconditional love. Let’s follow the marks of the true Christian in Romans 12: “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”

This is how we show tolerance.


I used to get so homesick
Then that feeling went away
Not sure where it went
But I figured it’d come back someday

Now I can’t stand leaving
And it’s when I’m gone and I’m alone
I get my sickness back
Because when I leave you
I realize I’ve left home.

-b. harris

there should be a word.

Crush is such a childish word
I’m not crushing on you –
That sounds absurd.

I like you more than the word can say
Like isn’t deep enough –
There’s no possible way.

To say I’m fond of you would be an understatement
Do you see what I’m saying?
Are you taking the hint?

Fancy is too loose a term for me
For my attatchment to you
Is much greater, you see.

Love is used far more often than it should
Could I say the L word to you?
I don’t think I could.

There should be a word for when you care for someone so deep
You wish that forever
Their heart you could keep.


the vibrancy of grace.

I once was blind, but now I see.

C o l o r.
Imagine trying to explain color to a blind person.
As children, we are given a word that is associated with sight. If blind, we would not be able to see the immense depth & warmth of the red & orange of a sunset.
If blind, we wouldn’t be able to see the cool tones of the oceans blue, or the growing shades of green in the leaves of a tree.
We wouldn’t be able to see the sunny shades of yellow in the flowers that grow, or even the radiant white of snow.

Living life groping about in the dark would be a most torturous life for me. Sight really is a gift, although we don’t often see it that way.
It seems that the most common things we as humans do mindlessly – almost automatically every day (breathing, heart beating, sight) receive the least recognition and gratitude.
The same is true in our spiritual lives.

C o l o r.
Color is much like grace.

I once was blind – groping about in the darkness of unbelief.
I could not see the marvelous shades of God’s grace.
I could not see the immense love & kindness of Christ.

I was bound to my own sin.
My sin was my blindness.
I knew there was a such thing as color (grace) – & I tried to run as far as I could in the opposite direction.
But by the grace of God, He pulled me out of my blindness & showed me His beauty.
I now can glorify Him to the fullest – now that I see all I was once blind to before.

I once was blind but now I see
God has shed His blood for me.
He paid the penalty that we could not
and with it our redemption bought.
He has shown His lovely face
I’m now not blind to God’s great grace.

Happy Resurrection Day. May we never forget or take for granted that great gift God gave us on the cross two thousand years ago.

monday night thoughts.

How often do I complain about my own circumstances without thinking how blessed I already am? Answer: too often.
I try to find my happiness in the things of this world that are just as temporal as myself, & yet I walk away expecting to be fulfilled with more than temporal satisfaction.
I find myself in a ditch that is all too familiar – struggling with dirt under my nails & sweat upon my brow to escape this prison I’ve made for myself. This prison of selfishness, pride, & dissatisfaction.
As I futily work to dig myself out of this immense hole I’ve made, all the while I’m finding myself deeper than I was before.

“How did I get here?” I wonder.
“Where did this treacherous fall begin?”

“How do I get out?”

I keep pushing away Christ’s open arms, thinking I can do it by myself.
Face soaked in tears & the dirtiness of my sin, only by God’s grace do I realize I’ve been pushing back the very Hands that can rescue me. The hands of the One whose grace & love towards me, if the ocean was ink & the sky was a scroll, could not contain the whole.
It’s like you’re drowning with a millstone around your neck, but you’re pushing away the lifeguard.
How could I be so blind?
Now that I see, it seems unfathomable that I could ever be blind in the first place.
Oh, the greatness & holiness of God – that I may never lose sight of what He has done for me.

It almost seems that I’m too dirty and worthless for Christ to want me. My mask of outward righteousness has come off, & my true depravity shines through.
I have the opportunity to find everlasting satisfaction & joy in Christ, but I try to find something “better”.
How childish it sounds now that I write it.

Will I find myself in that ditch again?
Will I know Whose strength to rely on to escape?